もう子育てに疲れた、逃げたい!そんなときに試してほしい対処法!!

子育て
スポンサーリンク

毎日毎日続く子育て。
「もういやだ!疲れた!やめたい!逃げたい!」と思ってしまうこともありますよね。

でも、そんなこと思う自分が母親失格のような気がして、余計に苦しくなってしまう…なんてことはありませんか?

でも大丈夫!
子育て中、こんな気持ちになってしまう母親はたくさんいます!

では、子育て中はどんなことに疲れ、逃げ出したくなってしまうのか。そんな時にやってはいけないこととは?そして、そんな状態から脱却する方法をご紹介します!

スポンサーリンク

子育て中、どんな時に逃げ出したくなる?

子育て中、色々な壁にぶつかります。大きな壁にドーーーン!とぶつかり逃げたくなる時もあれば、小さな壁に何度も何度もぶつかり、それが積み重なって逃げ出したくなることも。

では、具体的にどんなことに悩み、どんな時に逃げ出したくなることが多いのでしょうか?

寝不足が続く

寝不足が続くと体がだるくなったり重く感じたりしますよね。でも、寝不足によって不調になるのは体だけではありません。心も大きな影響を受けます

寝不足だと集中力がなくなり、イライラして心に余裕がなくなります。そんな状況で子供がずっと泣いていたり、わがままを言って全然言うことを聞いてくれなかったり、家事をしている時にずっと甘えてきて思うように進まなかったりしてしまうと、イライラしてしまいますよね。

普段怒らないようなことで怒ってしまったり、そんな自分が嫌になってしまったり。何をするにも上手くいかず、「もう全部嫌だ!逃げたい!!」と思ってしまうことも。

子育中はどうしても寝不足になってしまいます。乳児の場合は、そもそも睡眠時間を確保する方法がありません。

イライラしたくないからしっかり睡眠をとりたい→でも寝てくれない・夜中に何度も起きる→また寝不足→イライラする→いつになっても寝れる日が来る気がしない!逃げたい!なんて負のループにはまってしまうことも。

夫や親に協力してもらい、睡眠時間を確保するなど、なんとか寝れる環境をつくることが大切です!

何もできない

子育て中は、独身時代に当たり前にしていたことができなくなります。それを理解した上で子供を産んだつもりでも、「思っていた以上にできないことが多い…」なんて思うこともよくあるはず。

好きな所にご飯を食べに行くこともできない。
飲みに行くことなんてもちろん絶対無理。
美容院も好きな時に行けない。
スーパーに買い物に行くだけでも一苦労。

そんな風に、できないことが毎日毎日積み重なると、逃げ出したくなる気持ちになってしまっても仕方ありません。

特に、まだ周りの友達が独身の子が多い場合、SNSで好き放題遊んでいる投稿ばかり見て余計に辛くなってしまう、なんてことも。

ワンオペ育児をしている

私は夫が仕事の日はワンオペ育児をしていますが、本当に辛いですよね。何が辛いって、「しんどい!」と思ったその瞬間に、理解してくれる人がそばにいないことです!

親やママ友など、愚痴を話したり相談できる相手もいるかもしれませんが、どうしてもその場にいるわけではないので、相手は”第三者として話を聞く”というスタンスになってしまいます。

そのため、少しは気持ちが軽くなるかもしれませんが、辛さはなかなか消えてくれません。そんな時に、”なんだかひとりぼっちになってしまったような感覚になり、逃げたくなった”という経験がある人も多いはず。

夫も家族のために仕事を頑張ってくれているので、ワンオペ育児になってしまうのは仕方のないことかもしれません。でも、せめて家にいる時に家事育児を積極的に手伝ってくれたり、ワンオペの辛さを理解して労う一言をくれたりするだけで、ワンオペ育児をしている時の辛さも変わるのではないかな、と思います。

こんなことしてない!?子育て中に絶対しちゃいけないこと3つ!

子育て中、自分の心を更に辛い状況に追い込んでしまう行動があります。もし、後述することを「やってしまっている!」というのなら、今すぐやめてください!それだけでも、かなり辛さが変わるはず!

周りと比べる

子供や自分自身のことを、ついつい周りと比べてしまっていませんか?これ、本当に自分の心を追い詰めちゃいます!

子供の成長は個人差があります。そのことを頭で理解しているつもりでも、ついつい比べて気にしてしまうなんてことよくありますよね。

あなた自身も
「周りのママ友はいつも身なり綺麗にしてるな~」
「子供にいつも笑いかけてて怒ってるとこみたことないな~」
「ママインスタグラマーの離乳食すごいな~」
と思い、自分と比べてしまっていませんか?

周りと比べてもしんどさが増し、より辛くなるだけです。子供の成長はその子のペースに合わせてゆっくり余裕をもって見守ってあげましょう。

ママ友やキラキラインスタグラマーも、あなたは外側の部分しか見ていませんよね?皆、外ではきちんとしている部分だけ(←重要です!)を見せるものです。キラキラの部分だけを見て、「私なんて…」と思う必要はありません!

お子さんは、完璧な人でもいつも綺麗な人でもなく、あなたのことが大好きです。家事の手を抜いても、心に余裕がなくてイライラしてしまっても、あなたのことが一番大好きです。
だから、周りと比べず自信を持ってお子さんと接してあげてください!

完璧な母親であろうとする

「離乳食は全部手作りしなきゃ」
「毎日きっちり時間通りに動かなきゃ」
「テレビもスマホも絶対見せないようにしなきゃ」
と、完璧な育児をしようとしていませんか?

完璧であろうとすればするほど、出来なかったときに辛く感じてしまいます。”できない”自分が嫌になったり、そんな自分にイライラしてしまうからです。

でも子育てはイレギュラーの連続。全然思い通りになんていきませんよね。それが当たり前なんですから、完璧であろうとする必要なんてないんです!

もっと肩の力を抜いて、気楽に楽しく育児をするように心がけるだけで、毎日が楽しくて幸せになるはず!

手を抜く自分を責めるのではなく手を抜いた分心に余裕が出来て、子供に優しくなれた自分を褒めてあげましょう♪

1人で抱え込む

悩みが出来た時、上手くいかない時、1人で抱え込んでしまっていませんか?1人で抱え込んでしまうと、悩みはどんどん膨らんでしまいます。

1人で悩んでいても、解決策ななかなか浮かびません。夫が子育て面で便りにならない場合、誰にも相談できずに一人で抱え込んでしまうことも多いかもしれませんが、弱音を吐いたり愚痴を言うだけでも、心はかなり軽くなります。

1人で抱え込んでしまわず、出来る限り周りに話して発散しましょう。

どうしても辛いなら逃げよう!

「もう子育てが辛い!無理!」となってしまった時は、思い切って一度逃げてしまいましょう。逃げて少し子育てから離れることで、冷静になれたり、戻った時に子供が今までよりも可愛く愛しく見えることも。

どうしても辛い時は、少し逃げることも大切です。では、どうやって逃げると効果的なのか、ご紹介します!

子供を預けて一人になる

夫・親・ベビーシッター、誰でも良いので一度預けて一人になりましょう。疲れの限界がきているなら、無理にあなたが育児をする必要はありません。1人になって普段出来ないことをやっちゃいましょう!

映画を見る、ゆっくり買い物をする、子供連れだと入りづらいお店でご飯を食べる、など普段出来ないことを満喫して思いきり楽しんだら、気づけば「早く子供に会いたい!」という気持ちになっていたりします。

心がしっかりリフレッシュできると、ストレスや不安感が減退します。しっかりとリフレッシュして、笑顔で家に帰れば、そのあなたの顔を見ただけでお子さんは寂しかった気持ちも忘れて幸せな気持ちになってくれるはず!あなたもあなたの心もお子さんも、皆ハッピーになれますよ!

プロに相談する

育児の悩みは、意外に友達に相談しづらいもの。親に相談出来ればいいのですが、「親にすらなんだか言いづらい…」という時は、1人で抱え込まず、プロである保健士さんに相談しちゃいましょう!

いろんな親子を見てきた保健士さんなら、どんな悩みも親身に相談にのってくれるはずですし、適格なアドバイスもくれます。

私もたまに保健士さんに相談しますが、「そういう悩み抱えてるお母さん多いよ~」とか、「全然心配しなくて大丈夫よ~」と言ってもらえるだけで、とても心が軽くなります。子供を見るプロに言ってもらえる言葉は、やっぱりかなり大きく心に響きます。

更に、普段関わりのない人だからこそ言いやすい悩みや話もあるはず。思い切って全部話してしまうと、悩みの解決の糸口が見つかるだけでなく、ストレスが発散されていくこともあります。

どんな小さな悩みでもいいので相談して、楽しく育児が出来るように解決策を一緒に考えてもらいましょう!

預けられない、相談もしたくない時は自分の世界に入る

夫は仕事が忙しすぎて預けられないし、親も遠方に住んでいて簡単に預けられない。ベビーシッターさんに頼むほどお金に余裕もないし、プロに相談したいというよりは、「もうだめ!」という瞬間がいきなり現れる。そんなあなたには、その瞬間に自分の世界に入り込むことをオススメします!

瞬間的にしんどくなることありますよね。そんな時は、少しだけお子さんから離れて、自分の好きな音楽を聴きましょう。

音楽は、脳も心もリラックスさせてくれます。好きな音楽(できればおだやかな音楽)を聴くと、”自然鎮痛剤”と呼ばれる脳内物質の【エンドルフィン】の分泌が増します。この脳内物質は多幸感を感じさせる効果があるため、ストレス解消&ポジティブな思考に導いてくれる効果があります。

更に、おだやかな音楽は心拍数がゆっくりになり、感情を落ち着かせる効果もあります。「もうだめ!」と高ぶってしまった感情を落ち着かせてくれます。

ゆっくり音楽を聴いて、少しの間自分の世界に入ってリラックスすれば、びっくりするほど気持ちが楽になることもありますよ!

まとめ

いかがでしたか?「子育てから逃げたい」そう思ってしまうのは、普段それだけ真剣に全力で子育てをしている証拠です。

子育てに休みはありません。だからこそ、限界だと感じたら自分から逃げないことには、子育てから離れることはできません。

一度逃げることによって、頭や心が整理され、お子さんへの愛情が今まで以上に増し、関係も良好になることもよくあります。自分のため、お子さんのためにも疲れに限界が来たら無理をせず、きちんとした方法で逃げてみてくださいね!

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